sad sandwich story

It all starts with me and some greenhouses. I'm not much good at with plants, but having a porch for the summer inspired me to try growing some tomatoes and peppers. As much as I try to tell my plants that this isn't so, it's become sort of a plant hospice. None of the plants were particularly healthy when I bought them- I picked ones that I could get discounts on.

Some of the plants are doing better than others. I've had a salad with fresh grape tomatoes (three of them!), and the lone ivory pepper seems to me maturing well. Others of the plants are still excitedly flowering, as though it were still June. "Flowers!" my daft plants think to themselves. "Maybe these tomatoes will be ripe by frost! Flowers! Julie needs more bees on her porch! Flowers!"

The bees are amused, I'm sure. They probably have a special dance by now for "those dimwit cherry tomatoes are blooming again, the same ones on the corner porch that have been blooming all summer."

I, on the other hand, was excited to see that my hot peppers have come in. The type I've got are cherry tomato sized and bright red... and hot. I diced half of one into yesterday's scrambled eggs, and they was fantastic! The fresh basil and chives out of the herb basket didn't hurt, of course, but the pepper had a lovely taste.

This morning, I though I'd eat a tuna fish sandwich for breakfast, due to my late lack of grocery shopping. I chopped up perhaps a quarter of the remaining pepper, along with more fresh basil and chives, made my sandwich and took a big bite...

...and realized that I hadn't cooked the peppers. Furthermore, I hadn't taken out the seeds.* This sandwich was as exciting as the eggs, one could even say 'breathtaking,' 'rousing,' or 'stimulating,' but not in such a positive sense. I reopened the sandwich and spread sour cream inside, and ate it with a glass of milk to keep my tongue from curling up in a ball of regret that I had ever had such a dumb idea.

The sandwich gave me the hiccups- it was that hot. I didn't even know I could get the hiccups from a hot pepper. Hiccups and a stomachache for an hour. A lesser gardener (or a more avid grocery shopper) might have given up, but I ate the whole thing.

I still feel a bit queasy. Ice cream might help, but if I go to the grocery store then I should buy eggs, and cereal, and more milk, and all the other things on my grocery list, so I'll probably just let it go.

*Mr. Miro tells me that I should have taken out the white veins as well, as this is where much of the sneaky capsaicin hides. I did no such thing, of course.

I am infinity You may worship me, but from afar _

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